3 cops, 3 security guards, an oncologist and an inventory: part 1
3 Cops, 3 security guards, an oncologist and an inventory... Though not in that exact order sums up the wonderful day I had yesterday!
The Oncologist:
I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. These visits are never any fun - I HATE the waiting room experience! It is so depressing and morbid...I am always like a third of the age of everyone in there and this time my appointment was after lunch, so the waiting room smelled like vomit, which is the smell I associate with any mystery microwaved food. I drive a far ways out just to see this particular Oncologist because "She Has Horses". In case you don't know, that's code for "She's a Lesbian". This is how my other doctor, who is also a lesbian, referred her to me... "I think you'll like her, she has horses" I believe these were her exact words. Anyway, I'm am still doing fine and was informed that my lonely kidney is functioning as good as if I had 2- based on enzymes or something like that. I have a cat scan (which I also hate) scheduled for next week. I will have these twice a year for preventitive measures. So to recap, I like having doctor's with horses, I hate smells that come from foreign microwaves and life is good.
posted by my own private i don't know @ 7:44 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
i'm quite suprised that lesbians would choose a horse as their code animal. horses are known for being hung, something i would think lesbians would find very vile. oh wait, i get it... you're using a horse to throw people off! nice!
vomit and microwave food, indeed a pleasing experience. but it sounds like you forgot to throw in the smell of old people. they smell funny. not funny as in haha, more funny as in 'what the fuck is that smell?'
do male doctors use, "he owns unicorns?"
You know... I have a friend who sees a therapist that I swear is a big ol' closeted lesbian... and SHE has horses too! And a husband, but maybe she's using BOTH to throw people off.
Why is it that old people smell funny? Does your "smell like a normal person" factor justkind of peter out along with everything else?
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